When Love Feels Unfinished

I often ponder why I feel things that I don’t want to feel and why I’m so drawn to the very things I’m trying to heal from. Somehow, it always feels unfinished, and I’m starting to think it’s because I never really see things through.

Being so afraid of being hurt has caused me to separate from things or sabotage them before they even have the chance to happen. I leave when I’m starting to feel too much, thinking maybe I’m protecting myself, but then I’m left with the residuals. I’m left grieving something that never really ended when, really, I just ran away.

Maybe I’m afraid to be loved. Or maybe I’m afraid that someone will love me too much and I won’t meet their expectations when it comes to giving love in return.

For me, love just is. It’s not something you have to make up or perform when it’s real. It’s not a facade, and it’s not an aesthetic. When you genuinely care for someone, acts of love should come naturally. You should be able to see it in the way they show up, in the way they care, and in the little things they do without having to question whether the love is there.

It’s really that simple to me. And if it’s not, then maybe I have to let it be.

I just want to live in the moment and allow someone to see love when I show it. I don’t want to force something to become what I think it should be. I want to let things flow. If someone is being pulled in a different direction, then let them go. If I am being pulled in a different direction, then let me go too.

That way, there is always space for love to grow. Maybe we come back together when the tide gets low. Maybe we don’t. I think I’m learning that either way, what was felt can still have been real.

Love isn’t ownership, and it isn’t control. Sometimes loving someone means allowing them to move freely, even when a part of you wishes they would stay. Sometimes it means giving yourself that same freedom.

Maybe what I’m learning is that I don’t always have to run when I start feeling too much. I can stay long enough to understand what I’m feeling instead of making the decision for the other person before they ever get the chance to choose.

I can let love exist without immediately trying to figure out where it’s going.

I can feel it, let it be, and allow it to unfold naturally.

Because love isn’t always that simple. I know that. But maybe it doesn’t have to be complicated either.